Sunday, September 16, 2007
It was the most life changing 10 days of my life. I n these 10 days I learned and grew up in a moment that would take others for years to do. Super Camp was just what I needed in my life: for a long time I had been just this nice guy but I was honestly socially akward who also was not very organized. But this program beefed me up: it taught me how to be organized, prepared, relaxed, anything, it completely set me up to be a good student. And the people, Oh the wonderful people. Everyone was just extremely nice, friendly, and fun: in those days I’ve met more new people than I had ever before. And the kids were from all over the US and they were all there for the same reasons. But nothing could be beat the awesome people on my team: Brent, Meredith, Sarah, Maggie, Julian, the two Seans, Marquis, Laney and Paul. They became just like a family; we lived, talked, and ate together. We cheered each other and supported each other. We went through emotional and powerful and poured our souls out. It was just awe. I also did things I never would expect myself to do: talk with other people, do extreme things like balance on a log 25 feet in the air, or tell complete strangers about Poppy. Words cannot describe all the great things and changes I went through and experienced. I did a complete 180 with myself. I opened up myself complety to 10 complete strangers, I let go of a few demons, became more open and calming about Poppy’s death, more friendly more relaxed, in so many ways. I’ll cherish and remember all the memories, the people, the faces, the moments. It was just the perfect time.
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2 comments:
I really like the tone of this piece. A distinct voice comes through.
It would be nice if there were more details -- describe the people you met, or a specific activity you liked, or a specific emotion you felt. Details would add more depth and let the reader understand more where you're coming from.
Also, just check a few spelling and grammatical errors.
I really got your excitement out of this it was nice! Also the changes you made and how you described what you were like before and the kind of results you had after was really nice.
I feel as though you didn't really fully follow through though, I wanted more detail and depth...that intensity, and you could even go into the back story a bit, of what happened. Or give more examples of the kind of things you did that changed you. I also wanted to know who poppy was. Also what kind of people were there? where were you, like what kind of camp?
i liked it though!!! good stuff!
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